Wow it has been one long day. I started off waking up at 5am. I would have dragged my ass out of bed, but I had a hard time doing that so I ended up falling asleep for 45 more minutes. I swear I woke up and physically got up then and there though. I got up so early because I need to compile a list of doctors that accepted my insurance so that I could call them. So I did just that and I made all the phone calls that I needed to make. But...when it came to calling to get a PCP I called my HMO to find out who my original PCP was so I could change it. That was when I found out that my insurance had been cut of in August of 2009. How does something like that happen and I not know about it for over a year? That's insane! Well I have two levels of insurance...correction >>had<<. Because I was supposed to get my medication for my seizures today as well. But I found out that that insurance covering that got cut off as well for some reason. After everything else that happened today that was the earth shattering moment of the day. It really brought me down. Everything has been going so good and I've been looking forward to the possibility that I might be able to get my licence in a few months because I've been taking my medication like I'm supposed to. Well...now I can't. Because I can't get my medication. And it really upsets me. Because it's not like that's an inexpensive medication or anything. I guess what upsets me is it's not a quick fix. If I get my insurance back (if the state gives it back to me) they will cover all my medical expenses. That's cool but I can't afford my mediation up front, and I what happens if I don't get the medical coverage? Then I'm stuck with all these lovely bills that I can't pay because I can't even pay my student loans?
So this is where I will begin as January 7th but still talk about January 6th.
Madison came home yesterday. I was so excited I was pacing. I didn't know what to do with myself. I took a shower, and washed the dishes and vacuumed and straightened up but that didn't take nearly enough time. I just didn't know what to do with myself. She was supposed to get home at noon, but I had asked her father if he could go to Walmart and pick up my prescription for me. It was free and he just needed to know my name and date of birth and it was right on the way. [That was how I found out about my medication because he called me and told me that the pharmacist said that my insurance was invalid but I just needed to bring my new insurance card in and it would be okay. And my ex wouldn't dick me over on something like this. Because he know's this has to do with me getting my licence and that relates directly to getting my daughter around and anything to do with the her is important to him]. So instead of noon, she got home at 1. I was so excited to have her back. This being her first visit to her fathers though, I was interested to see what I got back with her.
So only one shirt is missing, which is understandable. It's possible that it fell out and he just didn't catch it. I'll just have to tell him about it next time I talk to him. Everything else was fine...accept for one thing...okay two things. She came home clingy as fuck for some reason [okay she was clingy before but not nearly this bad]. And everything of hers smelled like cigarette smoke. It was DISGUSTING. Even SHE smelled like smoke. It was like...yeah bath time! Oh bath time.... Well let's stay in order. I fed her lunch and she was really fussy so I put her down for a nap. After that she played for a bit and then we had some dinner and then it was bath time. Thank goodness we can get that smell of smoke off her. She had a blast in bath time last night. More so than usual I'm not really sure why. All I know is that I stood there watching her...and I couldn't help but have the BIGGEST smile on my face. [Wow...damn it's so great to have her back home]. Well...it's near the end of her bath and I'm about to get her out and she's still splashing around like CRAZY when the unthinkable happens and she has an accident. A very unpleasant accident...that I had to clean up. So I took her and got her taken care of and had to rinse out the tub and bleach it. That was a ton of fun. It was bed time then for the little munchkin.
Me time after that. And that means getting on my game. It was nice being able to spend time with friends. I guess yesterday I didn't have as much going on as I normally do because half of my day I spent waiting for Madison. Oh...and I spent like over an hour talking with Aubry about some crazy personal stuff...like my seizures and some really deep stuff from my past depression issues. That was really nice to just sit and have a conversation with someone. We had a great time together. I'm glad we got to hang out. :D
I'm really excited right now because on Saturday I'm going with Zach bowling. He said a few other people are going...I think Jeff is going and I guess a few people from their work that I've never met. Meeting new people...oh boy. That will be fun. Quick! Someone give me a lesson on how to spend time people you've never talked to before! Haha. No but really...I'm not really good at that. That's part of the reason I avoid social situations like that. I get really quiet. I've only hung out with Zach and Jeff like two times before already as it is...and I've only just barely stared to open up with them. I mean, I text them a lot and talk to them online a lot to so I have an upper hand. But still, hanging out in person and talking online are two very different things. Is it sad I need a few shots to loosen up? I mean the first time we went out I had to take a few shots just so I could calm down and not freak out. My anxiety level was at an all time high. I guess a friend was right when he said I might need to be on something for anxiety. Well, there really isn't much that can be done lol. Maybe I'll just take a few shots before they come and pick me up (but that just sounds sad...taking a few shots at 1pm...in the middle of the day....wow that is sad).
Before I head off for the day until I post tonight I want to add a link to this AMAZING song. It's on youtube...and I'm not giving you the link for the video. I'm giving you the link so you can listen to the song. Listen, don't bother with watching.
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