Life Isn't As Bad As It Seems Sometimes.

Wow, I sure have been busy. Too busy to even go down to the library and update my blog. But I'm here at my parents today doing some laundry and hanging out so I have a chance to update. And I'll be coming back on Saturday as well as Sunday ^^b. My parents rock. They are helping me out so much in my time of need.

<---What I've Been Doing--->

I've been pretty busy at the Mission. Every morning I wake up at 5am (which I guess I'll have to start waking up at 4:30 x_x) and showering and getting Madison up and getting her to breakfast at 6:15. Then we go back to our room to make our beds (she plays while I make the beds) and to clean the room up because they do 'bed checks' during the day to make sure your room is clean and your beds are made. 8am we leave and go down to the REC room where we hangout for an hour until Madison can go to daycare from 9am-11:30am. Then is lunch at Noon. After lunch, on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays you can take your child back to daycare. Wednesday and Friday you have to figure something else out I guess.

I've been keeping pretty busy. On Monday I went and donated plasma and Aubry watched Madison for me so that I could do that. It was really helpful of her ^^b. I've been trying to remember what I did on Tuesday, but for the life of me I can't seem to rememer what I did in the afternoon. Oh I remember. Aubry came and picked me and Madison up and I was able to hang out for a little and get a few applications filled out online. Wednesday I had an interview at a carpet cleaning place over on Stadium Drive. It was a great job opportunity, but it doesn't work well with my schedule and the days are 10-12 hours long. I woudn't mind this, but I have to keep Madison in mind and daycare and if I were to work 6 days a week 10-12 hours a day I would never see my daughter. And that's not cool. On thursday I dropped Madison off at the daycare in the afternoon for the first time and had an appointment with an HRI worker at 1:20. I then proceeded to fill out some applications online on my phone. I was so excited that I was able to do that. I didn't think my phone was going to let me go through it all but it did and I might have a great factory job.

So I've pretty much stayed busy. Today I'm over here at my parents because my laundry day was on Monday and I didn't know about that until it was too late x_x and I wont be making it to Monday. Me and Madison are pretty much out of clean clothing. It really sucks but I'm thankful that I have such caring parents who are willing to let me come over and get some stuff done.

<---How Madison is Holding Up--->

Madison is doing pretty good. She doesn't seem to like daycare very much because it means she's away from me. She crys when I drop her off and when I pick her up :(. I feel bad but I need that time to do stuff (though I wish the daycare was a little longer so I could get more done. I actually have to plan some days out where I take Madison with me because it would take too long). The one thing I think she is having the hardest time with is not getting a decent nap. If I'm lucky she'll fall asleep in my arms like she did yesterday. It's really cute, but kind of sad at the same time. She needs her rest, but there isn't much that I can do. Right now is nice because she's taking a nap right now and I know she really needs it.

<---How I'm Holding Up--->

I'm doing ok. I was really depressed that first night at the Mission. But I'm doing pretty good. Just trying to keep myself busy so that I don't go crazier than I already am. There are times where the is nothing to do and it's hard because it's winter and you can't really go outside and hang out. I've made a few friends though. One lady her name is Christina. She has 3 kids and they are all really nice and I talk with her a lot and we eat our meals together. She's a really cool person, I'm glad that there is someone I can talk with and connect with. That helps me from going crazy too. Another lady, her name is Julia (J for short). She's really cool too. I talked with her probably the second or third night I stayed there and we talked about religion and other stuff and I got to know her and we talk a little bit too. There isn't really anyone else that I've gotten to know very well but I know it's only a matter of time before I get to know most of them. Some of them I don't want to get to know. But having people that you can talk to helps and makes time go by faster and makes life seem not so bad. It also helps that I have people praying for me and people supporting me a lot right now. And being able to talk with Zach every day helps too. Though, it sucks that the only day we can really see each other is on Saturday. We could probably hang out on Thursdays if I wasn't stuck in such a shitty situation. But, I am and it sucks. And right now we just have to deal with it. I think it's working out ok dispite all this going on.

<---At The End of The Day--->

After dinner Madison and I go back up to our room and spend some quality time together before I put her to bed at about 7ish. Her normal bed time is 8pm but because she doens't get a nap I put her down earlier (and not to mention she wakes up at 5:30am). After I put her to sleep I wait until 7:30 (because famliy time is technically 6:30-7:30) to do my chore. I'm kind of irritated that I was assigned a second chore yesterday. Not only do I clean the bathrooms, but I also now have to wipe down the furnature in the community room. I think it's funny that I have 2 chores and Christina and I were talking and she doesn't even have a chore for some reason. It's ok, I can deal with it. I only have to do it tonight and possibly tomorrow night. It's not like I had to do 2 chores all week long. Then I would have said something about it. Once I finish my chore I spend some time to myself doing whatever I feel like doing and chatting on MSN messenger (my phone rocks!). Then at 9 we have a devotion that we have to go to in the community room. It kind of sucks because I want to go to bed earlier than that but there isn't much I can do about it. Then I go to bed because I'm so fucking tired.  And that's my life.

I'm working my ass off to find a job and next week I'm going out to get on some waiting lists for subsidised apartments. A lot more is going on with child support and other stuff but that's a lot more to write. I covered the basics and the important stuff for now. I hope that I can blog some more tomorrow morning when I come back over ^^b.